Friday, 24 February 2012
A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, " I feel as If I have two wolves fighting in my heart; one wolf is the vengeful,angry,violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." the grandson asked him,"Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather anwsered, "The one I feed."
Good manners are an admission that everybody is so tender that they have to be handled with gloves. Now, human respect- you don't call a man a coward or a liar lightly, but if you spend your life sparing people's feelings and feeding their vanity, you get so you can't distinguish what should be respected in them.
Perhaps they are not stars , but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to lets us know they are happy
"I have lived with you and loved you, and now you are gone. Gone where I cannot follow, until I have finished all of my days."- Victoria Hanley
A brief candle; both ends burning. An endless mile; a bus wheel turning. A friend to share the lonesome times. A handshake and a sip of wine. So say it loud and let it ring. We are all a part of everything. The future, present and past. Fly on bird To Heaven...you're free at last.
I hope all is well in Heaven cause it's all shot to hell down here. I hope that I find you in Heaven cause I'm so lost without you down here, you won't be comming back and i didn't get to say goodbye I really wish... I got to say goodbye.
I thought that I would miss you so, and never find my way. And then I heard the angel say, " They're with you every day." "The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars, will forever be around, reminding you of the love you shared, and the peace they've finally found."
I have buried you every place I've been, you keep ending up in my shaking hands. - atleastwerestillalive
You're a memory from before; please don't let me forget you. You're the wolves at my door. In that moment I realized that something I thought would always be there will die. Like everything else.
God saw you were getting tired and a cure was not meant to be so he put his arms around you and whispered come with me with tearful eyes we watched you as we saw you pass away although we love you deeply we could not make you stay your golden heart stopped beating hard working hands at rest God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best.
Solitude I'm doing fine I dance alone with my head held high oh solitude it's all sublime to swing along the choice is mine to wait while others play delay my love, I'll wait
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdon to know the difference.
"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there, with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair"- mumford & sons
If you are in harmony with yourself you may meet a lion without fear because he respects with self-confidence.
There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost.. the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is ... I've always been a fool.
One good thing about total, complete grief is that it humbles a person to such an extent that there is resistance to the voice of that loving, unleashed power that never leaves us.
Please believe that things are good with me and If they're not, they will be soon enough.
And I scratch these words into a black notebook I wrote your name on top I knew you'd never look I tried my best to fight the atmosphere To think the happy thoughts that leave the phone lines clear I see arizona stars from here but Peter Pan is miles away
"He has never liked December. Ever since he had made his first treck through the seemingly endless snow at his grandmother's house so many years ago and heard the wind howling and saw the bare, empty trees. it made him cry, without a reason, and a little of that sadness returned each year to him. It always went away with the spring, but it was a little different tonight. There was a feeling of winter coming to last a million years. There would be no spring."
"If there is no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I will follow you into the dark."
"You are indescribably, my dear. You are like the stars and moon and sun and Jupiter and Mars all merged into one. you are difficult and hard to figure out, like quantum science. But, you.. you are beautiful in every way. it is as if you were made to be beautiful and exquisite like a diamond in the rough and like art and adventure and memories and journeys. You are unpredictable, just like a meteor waiting to strike the earth. You are the universe."
"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let all the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride- even though the rest of the earth may disagree- that you still believe this world to be a breathtaking and beautiful place."
If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy. I would have won. But I gave you all. But you rip it from your hands and you swear it's all gone. And you rip out all I have just to say that you've won. Well now you won.
I was scared to call your mother for news that you weren't getting better. Well my,what the hell am I supposed to do?And I ran off and ran to something I swore was everything but beautiful I only say that word for you.
For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here's a quick biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting for YOUR boaz, don't settle for ANY of his realtives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz and exspecially his thid couzin Beatinyoaz. Please,wait on your Boaz & make sure he respect Youaz.
I'm messed up. I don't know how to fill the moments that we used to spend together, I don't know who to turn to when something important happened. It's funny how losing one person can affect you so much.
I have died everyday waiting for you darling don't be afraid i have loved you for a thousand years I love you for a thousand years more and all along I believed I would find you. - christina perry
We had the right love at the wrong time. Guess I always knew inside I wouldn't have you for a long time.
To me it's all about trust and loyalty. I need someone I can trust to be myself with. Someone who won't spill my secrets to another person, even if it's someone who they trust and are close to. I need someone who is loyal. I've had too many people just leave from my life, walk out, just like that. Too many who have replaced me. I need someone who won't simply ditch me for someone else because they're funner, or more open, or belong to another crowd. I need someone I can count on. Because I'd be willing to do all that for someone, and so much more.
"Here I am, sorely transmogrified, as you see, but there's something of me left at the bottom of him still." - Atleastwerestillalive. Ryan, my guardian angel, I thank you for being In my life, you were taken away too soon. You are young forever and you still have my heart buried with you. I love you.*
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Some qoutes are from Atleastwerestillalive. Check out her site, it's awesome you won't regret it. Heres the update:
You can play all day and tell your friends that everythings alright. The truth is your heart collapsed two years ago tonight.
Larger than the moon is my love for you. Worlds collide as heaven pulls us through.The secret of the world is written in the stars. I'm carrying your heart in mine.
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest mind. Think big anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
But you went away, how dare you. I miss you. They say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to, ever get over you.
She'll be the first to admit that she's not perfect. Her lifes a wreck, and the only thing holding her up is the hope that it'll get better. She's got some friends that would die for her. And she has friends that would kill her, given the chance. She has the mental stability of a psychiatric patient, and the constant drama that surronds her doesn't help. She's lost all of the people she depended on, whether it be death, or bterayal. Despite everything that has happened to her, the reason she keeps hanging on is the hope that it will all get better.
There isn't a moment of my day that isn't spent wondering whee you are, what you're doing, how you're feeling. Even in the quiet of night, when everything is still and i am nearly asleep, there's a part of me that is still wondering.
I've been thinking about you constantly since I left, wondering why the journey I'm on seemed to have led through you. I know my journey's not over yet, and that life is a winding path, but I can only hope it somehow circles back to the place I belong. That's how I think of it now. I belong with you.
"And you're asking me If I still want you, as If I could stop loving you. As If I would want to give up the thing that makes me stronger than anything else ever has. I never dared give much of myself to anyone before-- but since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely. I still do. If you want me."
Being with you never felt wrong. It's the one thing I did right. You're the one thing I did right.
Our love was beginning to feel like "forever" love, a love to carry to the grave.
And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.
When people say friendships don't last forever, they never meant us. You're my best friend and probably the only reason I am who I am today. You've shaped my character and become a better, stronger person. Only you know everything, I trust you with my whole life. Be strong, stay beautiful. I love you so much.
I don't care how far you are from me, or how long it's been since we've talked. I don't care how mad I got at you, or how mad you've been at me. You're still what matters most to me, and I'm never going to give that up.
There are two reasons why people don't talk about something. Either it doesn't mean anything to them or it means everything.
I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or not just exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it to all stop spinning.
There's someone I've been missing I think that they could be The better half of me.
There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything.
I try to sleep but my eyes are open. I can't think cause my heart is broken. And theres a bottle right next to me,I'll down a few drinks just to take the pain away. I wanna say all the tings I need to say. I won't lie, I'll just tell them honestly. If God can take a friend away from me, then can I say all I want and he won't do anything. My tongue is weak and every time I try to speak I can't say nothing at all.
"So my goal is to just waste away at home. If it was up to me I would never leave this house. Everyone keeps talking about this grieving process. But like I said before, I'm not admitting what happened, it's still not real. And I closed up really bad this time. I never wanna talk again. Can I get a drink?"- me
"You were here one day and gone the next I can not comprehend it. I'm so lost without you, I just need your hug and you!!! Your advice, your goodness, your ability to comfort me and everyone around you. My bestfriend why? What am I to do really?I miss you so much Ryan. I remember your voice and the way you make that sound like your sucking in a breathe when your nervous."- me
I want to explain how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I'm being drowned by some kind of black wave.
I always think of you before I fall asleep. The words you said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. & when I dream, I'll dream of you. Because it's about you, it's always about you.
You forgot about the house you forgot about the ring I remember everything, I just wanna hear you sing. I remember the love right after the fights you can't tell me you don't remember those nights and If I would cry, then you would cry twice To me you are the brightest star under sunlight - lil wayne
I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I'd open the door you'd smile and while I'm trying to figure out what the hell you're doing here you'd tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you've thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you'd take me in to your arms and ask me to forgive you and i would without hesitation. Then you'd grab my face and kiss me the way you used to and everything would be perfect again.
I am lost without you. I am soulless, a drifter without a home, a solitary bird in a flight to nowhere. I am all these things and I am nothing at all. This, my darling, is my life without you. I long for you to show me how to live again. - nicholas sparks
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Who knows him as well as I do? Who knows his laugh, his smile, the way he moves & throws his glances? Who knows but I the scent of his clothes, the way he drives, the things he does? The curl of his hair at the back of his neck, the words he uses, his sense of humor. Each of these things I know & cherish as if they were my own. Who else but I could love his taste in shoes, his gestures, his gently curved features.. His smooth skin when he shaves, & his stubble when he doesn`t? Who knows him as well as I do? & who could love him as I do?
And I'll be here by the ocean just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams. All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes and every waves drags me to sea. I could stand here for hours, just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?" With a tear in his voice, he said, "Son, that's the question." Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
"I can stop anytime i want to."
famous last words that come back to haunt you.
the days will always be brighter beause he existed.
the nights will always be darker because he's gone.
and no matter what anybody says about grief, and
about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are
certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart
stops beating and the last breath is taken.
I never knew life could be like that. he was
the one thing i followed through with in my
life. the one things i didn't give up on.
I was good at loving him.
I think about you when you're not here.
I do still think about the times we shared.
Love the carnival is comming around again this year.*
He's the ink under my skin sometimes I can't tell where I am Where I leave off and he begins.
It feels like Im alone on an Island. I sit on the beach and sink my toes in the sand as I watch a storm form miles and miles out at sea. I think what will this storm do to me. As the inhabitants flee, I place my head on my knee. As I sit and wait whats comming to thee. Its so foggy I can barely breathe. I cant see the storm anymore for I know its upon me. Thunderous hate and lightening strikes greed, I wish you were with me. Yet rays of light seeps threw dark mysterious fright, light flatters my face, gives me hope in fears place. i turn and climb the mountain high, as I picture your beautiful face. Im on top of the world, and what a beautiful veiw, i sit on a log as i watch the storm brew. Yet I have ever searching eyes over the vast ocean blue. Where is my sailor, my savior, my true? - Dedicated to RDH PERSONAL poetry, Please do not take
I spray cologne on your pillow and fall asleep on it pretending its you... * dedicated to Rdh
You could be my compass, teach me how to read these broken lines. Hold me like a lover, we'll find a way to run tonight. Tell me when it's over, promise that you'll always keep me in mind. Burning like a soldier, I'll find my way to you and save the day.
After all how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating? I'd lived through a lot, but it didn't make me feel strong. Instead, I felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatter me.
" A girl was walking home from school, when she stopped at the alley way she usually took to get home because for some reason she had a bad feeling about it. A man stood in the alley way, staring her down. She was scared, but this was her only way home. But she was all alone. The girl thought to herself ' God is with me. I have faith in him, he'll protect me and keep me safe.' As she walked through the alley way, the man just stared at her. She then continued on her way and got home safe. Later on she found out that the man had kidnapped and raped the girl who walked through the alley only 15 minutes after her. The police brought the girl to identify the man who had stared at her as she walked through the alley. She was brave and asked him,"Why was it that when I walked by you, you didn't rape me? He said, "How could I? You had 2 strong men on either side of you."
God will never abandon you.
One day, the memory of your face will fade into a technicolor swirl, but your voice will still haunt the inside of my car, and those three words- no matter whispered,said or shouted- will still bring me to my knees every single time - Nicholas Lee
And it said, I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate. Oh I don't care how long it takes. And I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in without my love and my best friend. Oh, this ain't nothing new, sweetheart, I'll wait for you."
And I remember the skin of your fingers, the spot three quarters up I'd always touch when i was out of things to say. You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand. I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear, that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand.And I remember how you smiled through the smoke In a crowded little coffehouse and laughed at all my jokes. And I remember the way that you dressed and, How we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat. And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing. - La dispute
And I will stand over the grave in which you lay and apologize for not keeping you safe.
You and I will always be unfinished buisness.
Baby, I still can't believe your gone. I know your waiting for me, but It still feels so unrealistic. It makes me sick just thinking about it. I really miss you. You were my bestfriend and the love of my life, my soulmate, my fiance. Randomly I'd remember waking up in the apartment because Mya jumped up and was barking so loud I must have called out your name four times and shook you before you woke up and yelled at Mya. You were such a kind soul and so protective.I remember what It was like to be near you and hug you. I loved your laugh! It was the best music I have ever heard. It was a beautiful sound. The little things we take for granted, like breathing. Ryan, I miss you breathing...